We are hiring an SEO Ninja Unicorn Rockstar (yes, all three) to:
✅ Rank our brand-new website (launched yesterday) to #1 on Google by tomorrow.
✅ Bring 1 million organic visitors without spending a dime.
✅ Write content, fix tech SEO, do backlink outreach, run PPC (wait, why?), and manage social media because “it’s all digital, right?”
✅ Report on KPIs that change every week because our leadership team reads a new Forbes article.
What you’ll deal with daily:
👨💼 Project managers saying, “Why can’t we just rank for ‘insurance’ or ‘hotels’ overnight?”
💬 Developers who believe meta tags are witchcraft.
💸 A budget smaller than your coffee bill.
📈 KPIs like: “get us more traffic but only from people who will convert, buy, and also tell their friends.”
🤹♀️ Juggling Google updates, client tantrums, and your own will to live.
Perks:
🤏 Flexible hours (aka you work all the time)
🤏 Unlimited coffee (but no coffee machine)
🤏 “We’re like a family” (yes, the kind you avoid at holidays)
🤏 Performance reviews where they ask why we aren’t ranking #1 for “Google” itself
Tag your favorite SEO warriors who are surviving this LinkedIn circus! 🫡
Or tag the corporate folks who think SEO is “just adding some keywords, right?” 🤡
SEO Hiring DigitalMarketing CorporateLife LinkedInHumor ProjectChaos
This post was originally shared by on Linkedin.