Surprisingly, both due to same reasons….
We seek two things at work - belonging and the need to feel valued…
…. and I’ve quit both my jobs when these two needs were not being met (for an extended period of time).
Belonging is more important for me. It’s something I had said in my first intro speech at my first job as a campus hire, and my MD back then had applauded that sentiment.
But belonging is not about getting along with every member in the team, having lunches together or spending weekends with each other’s families.
To me, belonging is feeling safe and wanted, and not feeling invisible or insecure.
I think it’s got to do with overall org culture, and more importantly the micro moments when culture plays out on a day to day basis - in team dynamics, in healthy debates, in honouring diverse opinions, in work assignments, or in hallway chats.
The second need - to feel valued - is both intrinsic and extrinsic for me.
I love the occassional pat on the back, a small thank you note, and the 10-years-later appreciation post that I made a difference in someone’s life. These feed my intrinsic need, and sometimes do bring a happy tear in my eyes.
But that doesn’t mean it’s enough. The promotions, new challenging projects, bigger responsibilities are what makes it complete.
Sometimes, I wonder if keeping someone happy at work is as simple as this - make them feel like they belong and that they are valued.
And then I remember, it’s exactly these things that are so difficult to achieve.
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