Delhi has discovered its 438th culinary revolution this year
It’s a place that serves fries in a wine glass and calls it “fusion.”
A new café opens with cement walls, mood lighting, and a ₹600 dish that tastes like depression and defrosted paneer
And like clockwork, So Delhi, Miss Malini & their sponsored cousins post:
“This is not just food. It’s an experience.”
Yes, Riya. It’s an experience
Of paying ₹400 for a cold coffee that tastes like school canteen nostalgia — but that's what everyone else serves too
The influencer loop is simple
You pay them
They pretend to love it
Everyone claps like it’s the second coming of molecular gastronomy
And in 3 weeks, the place turns into a co-working ghost town with 1 Zomato rating and zero soul
No one checks food quality
No one cares about hygiene
But god forbid your wall doesn’t have pastel graffiti and a motivational quote about espresso and Mondays
Meanwhile, real restaurateurs — who actually give a damn about food — are stuck watching this circus with a side of rising rentals and falling patience
But sure. Keep calling every café launch a “revolution.”
By 2027, we’ll have more revolutions than customers
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