If you peel away the layers of perfectionism—underneath it you find a person who
is making every effort to feel in control.

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They likely developed perfectionism as an anxiety-management technique.

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As a child, perfectionists are extremely sensitive to criticism and feel
insecure about the love, recognition, or validation they received from their
caregivers—and they learned that in order to belong, survive or have a place at
the table—you have to ‘be perfect.’

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Maybe it’s because your other siblings were good at sports or better looking—you
learned to behave perfectly or get perfect grades. Now you belong in the family.

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Maybe you grew up in a household where parents fought a lot or you had a sibling
who caused a lot of conflict – you learned to be ‘the perfect child’ who never
gives any trouble. Now you are the good one in the family.

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So afraid of disapproval from others, or for being seen as inadequate
–perfectionists will go to great lengths to manage the difficult emotions that
arise if they let go of perfection.

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Perfectionism is an addiction-because like all addictions, it is there to help
the person numb out painful feelings.


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Posted by Kashfi Naaz
on facebook
link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1628088717410164/user/100005824506721/